Trust

I wanna trust my friends but all i can think of is them betraying me. I smile and pretend and say yea i trust you but in the back of my head im thinking yea right if i tell you something everyone's gonna know. Im just scared to trust anyone i always try and find a reason to push someone away. I feel like i have all of my friends trust but i can reciprocate the same trust to them. Is it just me or am i putting up to many walls and not letting anyone in because im scared there going to hurt me.